Perhaps I need to cool my head after this. I said in my Mayoiga post that my taste in appraising shows has changed. I am now feeling the aftereffects.
Even after founding this blog, I still prefer to be an outsider distant enough to give my own opinion. I had a noble goal of guiding newcomers to this medium by printing overviews, making my most favorites list and a bunch of information about my preferences in anime.
When was the last time you sat through a show and realized you just enjoyed the hell out of it?
I am still on fence whether anime has gotten worse nor better through time. What I am sure of is I kind of lost my original intention as to why I watch Japanese shows. As much as I like to encounter another Evangelion, Mushishi or Monte Cristo – I just want to enjoy them for their worth. I used to be that guy who is happy enough when he watched Attack on Titan and the first half of Sword Art Online.
I do not blame Seventh Style for my radical shift in perceiving shows. In fact, these people gave me a discerning spirit to determine what’s a dud from not. I was able to engage in meaningful conversations with people online who share the same sentiment as far as a certain show is concerned. Nonetheless, I cannot chew what I chose to swallow this time. Evaluating shows to find gems took its toll and I got poisoned with it.
Perhaps these upper-tier shows made my usual lackey standards go high enough and be classified as an elitist. Instead of enjoying the pure fun of watching anime series, I tried to find flaws (no matter how small are these) and say the show is good if it finally manages to evoke some strong emotions in me. Mind you, I still hate shows that do not make sense if I follow its logic. Yet I am much willing to give shows a pass if these are fun. The usual ‘GREAT’. ‘ALMOST THERE’, ‘DECENT’ and ‘EH?’ still remain, yet I cannot bear the toxicity of disliking shows at this point.
I participated in forums because I wanted to pick recommendations. That remains to be my goal, but I honestly felt alienated at times. Probably it is me growing old and watching anime is the only thing we have in common. Sometimes, I tend to bend my views to mingle with the general consensus. Disagreements arise, and I admit I am not good with handling these. There are moments I was left agape because I cannot keep up to their conversations. Joining a community is good, it is just that I am inherently a (functional) shut-in to begin with. Dealing with people is not my forte. With that in mind, maybe I am going to live as a recluse again just to shape my own taste. I am still torn between communicating with people online though. They’re nice enough and my apparent coldness is the only thing that prevents me. Hence, I intend to keep all of my social media accounts and this blog.
Maybe I am taking this way too seriously. It’s just anime man!
I am not going to deny that I watch these Japanese shows with a somber stance. To be honest, I do not watch non-anime shows (aside from news) in real life anymore. My life for the past three years revolves a third of these so it’s been integral with me. After all, these shows have been my only companion in the darkest portions of my life. Yet that’s another story.