Time and Changing Perspectives, Part 2

This is the second part. Forgive me for giving you a dose of sap.

I am an anime junkie since childhood. Anime shows were actually a thing in our country during afternoons and early evenings. However, I totally stopped watching these shows when I was in college due to my reading intensive school requirements as a part of being an accounting student.

I chose to teach in a university after passing the board examination. It seems like I already forgot the experience an anime show can bring until one of my students gave me a copy of the first cour of Sword Art Online two years ago. For a profession with lots of free time, I chose to watch episode one at 8:00 pm. The next thing I knew, it was already two in the morning and I was bawling due to Yui disappearing while Asuna seemed to lose all of her hopes that time. The ending scene of episode fourteen was also permanently burned in the back of my mind. I blabbered the euphoria I had the following day in my class. I don’t want to bother stating my experience with the Alfheim arc but Sword Art Online reacquainted me to the amazing world of anime. While this is certainly not the best out there, it made me realize that this medium reignited my imagination as well as my desire to push my creative limits.

As others may say, the rest is history. I went to discover many great ones that somehow changed my life about three hundred shows later. Clannad will forever struck me as the sole show which left me bawling for episodes. Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun and Baka and Test reaffirmed my faith with comedy while shows like Shiki and Shin Sekai Yori showed me that anime is not just for kids and can be a thought provoking medium. The Tatami Galaxy taught me that I should enjoy the ride this crazy life brings without much regrets and The Count of Monte Cristo reminded me that revenge is a big no as far as redemption is concerned.

On how I was able to immerse myself more in anime, I think it roots from a more dramatic reason. It was during the wake of my late father and I was tasked to guard his remains in the wee hours of the morning. I was all alone at those times and I want to have some sort of diversion from the fact that I am actually seeing my father’s lifeless body in a coffin. To escape from the fangs of solitude and loneliness using a portable tablet, I thought that maybe watching anime shows at 3 am would at least ease what I felt. These were Fate/Zero, Haruhi Suzumiya and Psycho Pass and boy, I was right.

Although I still cried a lot during the funeral, I think it was lessened by the fact that I have those shows. These characters (or the writers) felt what it is like to lose someone important and it’s not a fairy tale where everyone will just say that it is okay. Especially in the case of Fate/Zero, the ending where Kiritsugu finally found peace through death was also the moment I was left devastated yet relieved. There is something in me that hoped to feel a resolution akin to what he felt that time.  Since then, watching animes has been a staple for my daily life even after I am now an employee. It was as if it saved me from a certain risk of not moving forward. I still stumbled, of course, but to a lesser degree. I was practically reduced to a hikikomori except for the fact that I have to work. I ceased creating connections with new people and I almost shunned my heart to my current girlfriend. Who knows what might have happened if I didn’t see these shows?

I know I said in the first part of this post that my perception towards appraising shows is changing. I realized that the ‘objectivity’ I sought for a long time is nothing but a myth. Maybe people will see my taste getting worse through time, but I am much happier watching things that make me smile rather than examining a medium whose merit is based on something even I am not sure of. For as long as the execution and the visual are within my tolerance limit, I am going to love the series regardless of the genre.